By the time I was sixteen, I had decided what my life verse would be. It resonated with the core of me, way down deep where the longing lives and all the way to the surface. It spelled out my desire, my quest, my hope, my prayer for as long as I could remember.
"And to know the love of Christ, which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:19
As a teenager, it wasn't easy for me to grasp that love. The situation didn't improve much as I got older. I think the devil knows how dangerous, how devastating to him it is for us to know, really know and experience the love God has for us. So he spends all his strength trying to blind us, harden our hearts, make us feel worthless...anything to sabotage our chances of encountering the love of God. And his tactics are subtle. In my case, it was effort that got me tripped up. I thought if I tried hard enough, I'd finally find that illusive feeling of God's love and it would set me free and change me into a different person, a Loved person. The more that love feeling eluded me, the harder I tried to reach for it. The devil's job was easy. Make me strive so much for love that I would never stop long enough to realize it was already mine, perfect and complete.
This is how I've lived most of my life. But, thankfully, it's not the end of my story.
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