I started crying just a little bit on the freeway today. If you stick with me long enough, you'll find that the freeway is usually a pretty eventful place for me. Revelations. Tears. Words from the Father. Truth. Choices. They all seem to happen on the freeway. Maybe that's why i love road trips so much. Even as a child, i used to love riding in the car, staring out the window beside my face. Dreaming. Wondering what would happen someday. Would i ever get to go on tour with Point of Grace and what would it be like if i did? I don't wonder about that anymore. But there are other things i wonder about. Questions i can't help but wrestle with even when i thought the struggle was over.
I didn't have time to cry today so I sucked it up and kept driving, forgot about the hard stuff eventually. Its been a long time since the last tears came. Months. I cried on the freeway today because my heart felt forsaken. We all feel that way from to time, right? I didn't think too long or too hard about it and I didn't come to any resolutions. I just said over and over again...you know...i won't push you away. I will say it until i mean it. Until nothing, not heart ache, not guilt, not ugliness or uncertainty, will stand in my way of Him. The feeling went away after awhile. It might come back again. If it does, I'll go for a drive. Find a nice long freeway to sort out my thoughts on. I'll repeat those words again for miles at a time until they are not just words anymore. Then I will be closer to freedom.
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