Go Be A Writer

I need to figure out a way to follow through with this lingering thought that has been poking and prodding me for days, thousands of them. I am frightened to stare at a blank screen and not know what to say. I am even more frightened that I will waste more time. I made a list of all the things I am afraid of. Here are some of them:

That I have nothing to say.
That Kimberly is the writer, not me, because Pastor Mary said so.
That I won't be relatable.
That this is just my idea, not God's idea.
That I am pretending to be something i'm not.
That I am making this up.
That I am not a good writer.
This I have not been commissioned.
I don't know what to write about.
I don't know if all of this will fizzle.

Ok, that's about all of them. It was good to have it out with those big, haunting fears. I guess they are not so big in that little font size after all. This is what i wrote next, after my list.

But what if I never even try?
Will I regret not trying?
Yes.

Yes, I will.

Here's the last of it. What i wrote to myself. My very own pep talk.


So what does that leave me to do?
Write.
Something.
Anything.
Just don't keep hoarding your words in notebooks and documents. Don't write blogs that no one can read because you haven't told them you blog.
Grow up a little Shawna and be big.
Be fearless.
Fearless of how they may see you.
Fearless of saying the wrong thing, the wrong way.
Write as if you were free.
See what happens.
If you're going to do this,
you're going to really need to do this.
That means no procrastinating.
Be big and brave and do this all by yourself because not even trying is worse than failing.
Everyone knows that.
Go be a writer.

Here I go.