215 N

I was driving to work this morning. Praying. Thinking about what it means to trust God, really trust Him. I realized so clearly, more clearly than ever before, that we don't trust God because He promises not to let us hurt. We don't trust Him because He protects us from bad things happening. Death. Disappointed hopes. Heartache. Flat tires. Restlessness of heart and mind. He doesn't promise us life without pain and He doesn't always make the ache go away. He doesn't always break the silence. And He lets us wiggle and squirm inside our skin from time to time.

But just as clearly as I realized all of this, I knew. I knew with the kind of knowing that lands somewhere too deep for words. And something happened--something I've been waiting for for a long, long time and I didn't even know it.

My heart settled on Him.

That is my final answer. The end of my story, or just the beginning. I feel sort of free. Strange. Like the pieces just fell into place. In a moment, on the freeway, my heart settled on Him and peace came.